Once upon a time, there was a bunch of “green” soldiers lost in the wilderness. They were supposed to follow the North Star and the Orion to find their way across the pitch-black “enemy” territory. Unfortunately, it was a dark and cloudy night. There weren’t any stars in the sky.
The first soldier, a very “blur” one, panicked. “How? What to do?” he cried. “Alamak! We’re lost!”
The second soldier was more steady. He suggested, “Why don’t we take a break, rest for a while?”
The third soldier agreed. “We will have more energy to move on.”
So they rested.
Five minutes later, they were ready to embark once more on their journey. Standing up, the first soldier suddenly saw a flickering light. “Look,” he cried, “somebody’s there”.
They made their way towards the light. It was a small hut made of wood. Inside, a kerosene lamp was burning. There were chairs, a table, a cabinet at the side. At the end of the room was a doorway with a curtain hanging down.
They peeped past the threshold. “Any one there?” the second soldier asked in a squeaky voice.
“Welcome.” From behind the curtained doorway a lovely lady dressed in white came out. She opened her arms, indicating hospitality. “Please enter. How wonderful it is to have visiting guests! Let me prepare you a feast.”
The soldiers were taken aback by this unexpected offer. But since the invitation had been extended, and by a beautiful woman, they stepped into the hut. Mouth-watering smells floated out from behind the doorway.
“Wait a while, please,” said the lady.
She re-entered the hidden room, and emerged a moment later balancing a tray fully laden with the most delicious food the soldiers had ever seen: chicken, fish, beef, pork and all sorts of seafood. There were cakes, chocolate, soup and many kin of soft drinks. Without thinking how strange this whole incident seemed, the soldier naively gobbled up the food. They ate and ate until they felt they would burst. Their stomach bulging, the soldiers burped.
“Are you full?” their beautiful hostess asked.
“Yes, thank you so much!” the soldiers answered enthusiastically. “This must be the best meal we’ve ever had in our lives.”
“That’s good.”
She flashed a ravishing smile. The windows a door slammed shut. The kerosene lamp dimmed. The lady in while began to glow in a devilish blue light.
“I’m so glad you enjoyed your meal , “the beautiful ghost said, “because not it’s time for me to enjoy mine.”
A variation goes like this.
Once upon a time, there was a bunch of “green” soldiers lost in the wilderness. They were supposed to follow the North Star and the Orion to find their way across pitch-black “enemy” territory. Unfortunately, it was raining, and stormy winds were blowing. There weren’t any stars in the sky.
The first soldier, a very “Kiasu” one was complaining impatiently. “It’s all your fault,” he said. “You should have recognised the target properly, then all we needed to do is to head straight for our destination.”
The second soldier rebutted, “But we’re supposed to follow the star! Now there are no stars in the sky, blame me for what?”
The third soldier was quite sick of hearing them squabble. “Keep quiet!” he hollered. “Quarrel no use one, lah, I tell you. Why don’t we cooperate and try to find…”
Before he could finish his sentence, a light appeared in the distance, shining brightly.
“Whooopie!” the soldiers cheered. Singing “A for Alpha”, they ran happily towards the light.
It was a small hut made of wood. Inside, a kerosene lamp was burning. There were chairs, a table, a cabinet at the side. On the table was the most magnificent spread they had ever seen in their lives. There were roast chicken, char siew, longtong, mee rebus, roti prata and even black forest cake.
They did not asked who the food belonged to. Food was food, and once you know who it belongs to, it is more difficult to eat it with a clear conscience. At least, this is the generally policy among army guys. So this crazy bunch just gored themselves silly.
When all the food was finished, they could not help but rest a little and let their digestive system do its work. As is natural for army guys, once they start resting they inevitably fall into deep, deep sleep.
They didn’t wake up until morning. But when they opened their eyes, they found the wooden hut gone. There was only untidy scrub and sterile granite around them.
Then, together with the bright rays of the sun, the stomach aches came. Of course, this was also very natural for army guys who overeat the night before. The three soldiers were wobbly on their feet, overcome by the urge to do their business there and then. Only, before find an appropriately secluded pace, the food had disgorged itself.
It was a really awful sight, with all that yucky stuff vomited onto the ground.
Scorpions. Centipedes. Spiders and cockroaches.
The most delicious supper in the world
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